U DRIVE ME CRAZY

Me and Angela never wanted to get married to each other but we have no choice. My Dad would fire me from my job if I don’t marry her and its goodbye to her glamorous life if she won’t. We hated each other, I’m serious and I concentrate about business while she’s childish and stubborn.

A month after, things between us finally cooled down, we started to understand and became comfortable with each other and not long after we fell in love.
When we heard from the doctor that she was pregnant, it changed our life, we became closer and happier, we wanted the baby so badly. I would come home early so we can have dinner together and call every 2 hours just to check up on her.

One day, I was called for a meeting on my day off, I left my cell phone on the car and when I checked it, there were 5 missed calls from Angela, before I can call her back, my mother-in-law called and informed me that Angela was rushed in the hospital, the doctors tried their best to save the baby but it was too late– she miscarried. I was in the bed side caressing Angela , waiting for her to wake up and when she did, she started crying about losing the baby, my heart went out to her I’m sad about losing the baby but I’m grateful that my wife is alive and that’s what matters most.

I thought everything is going to be alright again but day by day she seemed more miserable, she would hold her tummy as if the baby is still there and starts crying, I tried everything to cheer her up by proposing to have another baby but she’s not ready to have one because she’s scared of losing it again. Angela changed so much; she became bitter and unhappy.

I was called for a meeting one time on my day off and she didn’t want me to attend it, I explained to her how important the meeting was but she wasn’t listening, She got angry and blamed me for her miscarriage, I looked at her with disbelief and slammed the door and went to the meeting. I came home late and drunk and when I entered the room she pushed me out and threw a pillow at my face – “I’m sleeping in the couch”.
The next day, I apologized to her but she doesn’t seem to care about my apology, she told me that were going to have separate rooms. I tried my best to fix things between us but it was no use, I finally gave up on her.
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Months later, I met Sandy she’s far different from Angela she has a five year old daughter named Megan. They made my life colorful again; I fell in love with them. Sandy promised herself not to trust another man again but I proved her wrong, I didn’t give up on pursuing her, she was everything Angela could never be, I fell deeply in love with her.

Even though she’s not my daughter Megan and I bonded like a real father and daughter, she had never seen her father and Sandy worked very hard to raise her alone — I’m happy I filled the missing pieces. One of the best things that happened to me was when I attended her school’s Parents day and was called “daddy” for the first time, I was overwhelmed with joy. With them by my side, there’s nothing I could ever ask for, I was ready to divorce Angela and accept whatever consequences from my father.

I thought Angela would agree but she cried when I discussed it to her, she told me that she still loves me and she wants to start all over again — “You killed us a long time ago Angela, it’s too late” I said it harshly and left. My father was enraged when he learned about my plan for a divorce, at that moment I wasn’t scared of him. Angela didn’t sign for the divorce but she didn’t bother us, it was clear in her mind that there’s nothing she can do to make me come back.

I continued my life with the people I care about the most. I bought a house for Me, Sandy and Megan and we lived there like a normal family. Sandy was very understanding to everything that was happening in my life and never pressured me. I fought everything that tried to come between me and Sandy, even my own father, I thought I can win over everything that would separate us but there’s one enemy that I could not defeat and it’s Cancer – Sandy is sick with Cancer, she knew about it but never told me and Megan. My world crumbled down when I heard it from the doctor and to make matters worse, they told me that there’s nothing more they can do to save Sandy, all there’s left is to make most of the time she had left. Even though Sandy knew she was dying, she managed to smile and never showed a sign of suffering, she taught me how to accept the changes that I must face soon and learn to love again.

Sandy left with peace and contentment in her heart, I felt lonely but not hopeless, I still have Megan and I promised Sandy that I would take good care of her. Angela was supportive and became my friend; I noticed that there was a big change in her. She was kind and caring to Megan. I remember what Sandy taught me – It was to love again and I did, but it took a while for me to learn to love Angela again. We got back together and she treated Megan like her own daughter. She gave birth to our baby girl and she didn’t mind calling the baby “Cassandra”, Sandy’s name.
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Sophie’s face faded into the gray winter light of the sitting room. She dozed in the armchair that Joe had bought for her on their fortieth anniversary. The room was warm and quiet. Outside it was snowing lightly.

At a quarter past one the mailman turned the corner onto Allen Street. He was behind on his route, not because of the snow, but because it was Valentine’s Day and there was more mail than usual. He passed Sophie’s house without looking up. Twenty minutes later he climbed back into his truck and drove off.

Sophie stirred when she heard the mail truck pull away, then took off her glasses and wipe her mouth and eyes with the handkerchief she always carried in her sleeve. She pushed herself up using the arm of the chair for support, straightened slowly and smoothed the lap of her dark green housedress.

Her slippers made a soft, shuffling sound on the bare floor as she walked to the kitchen. She stopped at the sink to wah the two dishes she had left on the counter after lunch. Then she filled a plastic cup halfway with water and took her pills. It was one forty-five.

There was a rocker in the sitting room by the front window. Sophie eased herself into it. In a half-hour the children would be passing by on their way home from school. Sophie waited, rocking and watching the snow.

The boys came first, as always, runnng and calling out things Sophie could not hear. Today they were making snowball as they went, throwing them at one another. One snowball missed and smackd hard into Sophie’s window. She jerked backward, and the rocker slipped off the edge of her oval rag rug.

The girl dilly-dallied after the boys, in twos and threes, cupping their mittened hands over their mouths and giggling. Sophie wonder if they were telling each other about the valentines they had received at school. One pretty girl with long brown hair stopped and pointed to her face behind the drapes, suddenly self-consious. When she looked out again, the boys and girls were gone. It was cold by the window, but she stayed there watching the snow conver the children’s footprints

A florist’s truck turned onto Allen Street. Sophie followed it with her eyes. It was moving slowly. Twice it stopped and started again. Then the driver pulled up in front of Mrs. Mason’s house next door and parked.Who would be sending Mrs. Mason flowers? Sophie wondered. Her daughter in Wisconsin? Or her brother? No, her brother was very ill. It was probably her daughter. How nice of her.

Flowers made Sophie think of Joe and, for a moment, she let the aching memory fill her. Tomorrow was the fifteenth. Eight months since his death.

The flower mans was knocking at Mrs. Mason’s front door. He carried a long white and green box and a clipboard. No one seemed to be answering. Of course! It was Friday – Mrs. Mason quilted at the church on Friday afternoons. the delivery man looked around, then started toward Sophie’s house.

Sophie shoved herself out of the rocker and stood close to the drapes. The man knocked. Her hands trembled as she straightened her hair. She reached her front hall on the third knock.

“Yes?” she said, peering around a slightly opened door. “Good afternoon, ma’am,” the man said loudly. “Would you take a delivery for your neighbor?”
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“Yes,” Sophie answered, pulling the door wide open. “Where would you like me to put them?” the man asked politely as he strode in.

“In the kitchen, please. On the table.” The man looked big to Sophie. She could hardly see his face between his green cap and full beard. Sophie was glad he left quickly, and she locked the door after him.

The box was as long as the kitchen table. Sophie drew near to it and bent over to read the lettering: “NATALIE’S Flowers for Every Occasion.” The rich smell of roses engulfed her. She closed her eyes and took slower breaths, imagining yellow roses. Joe had always chosen yellow. “To my sunshine,” he would say, presenting the extravagant bouquet. He would laugh delightedly, kiss her on the forehead, then take her hands in his and sing to her “You Are My Sunshine.”
It’s was five o’clock when Mrs. Mason knocked at Sophie’s front door. Sophie was still at the kitchen table. The flower box was now open though, and she held the roses on her lap, swaying slightly and stroking the delicate yellow petals. Mrs. Mason knocked again, but Sophie did not hear her, and after several minutes the neighbour left.

Sophie rose a little while later, laying the flowers on the kitchen table. Her cheeks were flushed. She dragged a stepstool across the kitchen floor and lifted a white porcelain vase from the top corner cabinet. Using a drinking glass, she filled the vase with water, then tenderly arranged the roses and greens, and carried them into the sitting room.

She was smiling as she reached the middle of the room. She turned slightly and began to dip and twirl in small slow circles. She stepped lightly, gracefully, around the sitting room, into the kitchen, down the hall, back again. She danced till her knees grew weak, and then she dropped into the armchair and slept.

At a quarter past six, Sophie awoke with a start. Someone was knocking on the back door this time. It was Mrs. Mason.

“Hello, Sophie,” Mrs. Mason said. “How are you? I knocked at five and was a little worried when you didn’t come. Were you napping?” She chattered as she wiped her snowy boots on the welcome mat and stepped inside. “I just hate snow, don’t you? The radio says we might have six inches by midnight, but you can never trust them, you know. Do you remember last winter when they predicted four inches, and we hand twenty-one? Twenty-one! And they said we’d have a mild winter this year. Ha! I don’t think it’s been over zero in weeks. Do you know my oil bill was $263 last month? For my little house!”

Sophie was only half-listening. She had remembered the roses suddenly and was turning hot with shame. The empty flower box was behind her on the kitchen table. What would she say to Mrs. Mason?

“I don’t know how much longer I can keep paying the bills. If only Alfred, God bless him, had been as careful with money as your Joseph. Joseph! Oh, good heavens! I almost forgot about the roses.”
Sophie’s cheeks burned. She began to stammer an apology, stepping aside to reveal the empty box.

“Oh, good,” Mrs. Mason interrupted. “You put the roses in water. Then you saw the card. I hope it didn’t startle your to see Joseph’s handwriting. Joseph had asked me to bring you the roses the first year, so I could explain for him. He didn’t want to alarm you. His ‘Rose Trust,’ I think he called it. He arranged it with the florist last Apirl. Such a good man, your Joseph…”

But Sophie had stopped listening. Her heart was pounding as she picked up the small white envelope she had missed earlier. It had been lying beside the flower box all this time. With trembling hands, she removed the card.

“To my sunshine,” it said. “I love you with all my heart. Try to be happy when you think of me. Love, Joe.”

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We met sometime in 2006 through a load finding website forum. I had just started my trucking company and helped her get organized to start hers. I was married at the time and had no idea a year later I would be in the position I am today. Through false accusations I lost my family, company and everything I ever worked for. My angel was there to help me pick up the pieces. We have continued our friendship while I work my way through three different courts. I fell head over heels in love with this angel. We have never met in person but I am so sure I have found my soul mate; she lives in MI and me in CT. I would bet my future on it. She is the sweetest, kindest most generous soul I have ever met. She is also very smart, has the most beautiful smile and pretty blue eyes. God sure knew what He was doing when He made this special angel. I have held her in my dreams and pray I never have to let her go. My love for her is a journey……
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He stumbled into my life after I posted a comment about his poetry.  We exchanged emails and then telephone numbers.  All this happened at such a rapid fire pace, we were both caught up in something bigger than both of us.  He booked a weekend at a beautiful working ranch with an old farmhouse full of antiques and a loft for lovers.  A picket fence and yard with flowers abounding.  We were adopted by a pair of cats, who spent the entire weekend on our porch.
As we explored the house, we were stealing quick looks at one another.  After a little awkwardness, we hug.  Glancing about the kitchen with it’s antique stove and refrigerator, we spot a bottle of wine.  As Donnie opens the wine, I hunt for the glasses.  He pours and we head to the veranda and the white rocking chairs.  We sit and make small talk and laugh about how I got lost and he had to come and find me.  After a time we decide to have dinner at the local restaurant.  Dinner was deliscious and we get more wine and return to our veranda.  The stars are so close you feel you can reach out and touch them.  Donnie kneels before me and kisses my lips.  I am so touched by his tenderness.  Donnie kisses me again and I realize just how much I want him.  Finishing our wine we head inside to get settled in.  I excuse myself and head for the shower.  Nervously I debate with myself about making the first move.  Would I turn him off by being so bold?  Maybe it would happily surprise him.  I decide to be bold and go back downstairs wrapped in the white fluffy towel.  Donnie is sitting on one loveseat and gasps when I walk into the room.  He smiles and says, “Damn!”  I smile and giggle and sit at the other end of the loveseat.  He leans toward me to kiss me and I raise up to meet his lips.  We continue kissing and caressing until I ask him to follow me up to the loft.  He comes willingly, favorably commenting on my rearview as I climb the stairs.  Bliss awaits us under the quilts.
In the loft, we explore each other until we fall asleep in each others arms.  Sunshine is streaming into our bed as I open my eyes and realize that I am not alone.  Donnie lies next to me, holding me in his arms.  I sigh with delight.  Last night was perfection!
Tiptoeing downstairs to make coffee, I replay last night in my mind.  Amazed at how Donnie and I just seemed so comfortable together.  We so easily became intimate with each other.  Everything felt so right.  Waiting for the coffee, I step out on the veranda and watch the animals as they stir in the morning air.  I feel so vibrant and alive!  Smiling I take our coffee upstairs and gently nudge Donnie awake.  Urging him to get up and greet this wonderful new day we have to share.  Slowly Donnie arises claiming that I had worn him out the night before.
After a long leisurely time of drinking our coffee on the back veranda, we decide to explore the ranch.  Donnie arranges for a golf cart, grabs his camera and we head out.  Signs show us the way to Enchanted Lake.  Oh, how right the name is for this lake is so very enchanted.  There are three islands and arching bridges that connect them.  The first island has a large gazebo with shrubs and flowering vines growing all around.  We are both enchanted.  At sunset we will come back and celebrate with some wine.  Romance is running rampant on this ranch.  Everywhere we go, we are impressed with the beauty of the huge old live oaks and the green pastures with roaming cattle.
After celebrating the sunset on Enchanted Lake, we return to the farmhouse.  Sipping more wine on the veranda talking about the days delightful surprises. Donnie suggests we take a bubble bath.  He said that old claw footed bathtub was just calling for us.  I absolutely agreed.  Donnie called it our “double bubble.”  Such a delisciously romantic suggestion.

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Throughout the rest of the weekend, we talk and gaze and make love.  Hoping time will stand still, we ignore watches.  We need to touch and kiss.  We can’t keep our hands off each other.  Holding hands, touching cheeks, and more kissing.
Monday morning comes and we must deal with reality.  One more trip around the lake.  We reluctanly part.
We have since decided to continue our relationship and we both know that we love each other.  We feel that we have loved each other a long time.
You see, we were meant to be together, it is our blissful destiny!
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